A rebel casts on in the shade
Wondering why I knit sweaters in hot weather...
I started two sweaters in the last two weeks. Even though these weeks have been the first warm days of spring - lovely sunny days when you want to sit in the sunshine and feel your body warming up after a winter of bundling and warding off the chill.
Am I being rebellious? Take that with your sunshine and flowers and stuff!
Or am I being realistic? Because sweaters take time, and a November sweater needs many months of lead time.
Or maybe, I just don’t feel the pressure of deadlines - there is no need for this sweater any time soon, so I suddenly feel like I have time to spread out, to work at my own pace.
It’s funny the way that mental deadlines work. I don’t think I am assigning myself a due date, but know that I get impatient for a sweater, or other knitwear, when its cold and I want it done Right Now. Even if it’s for someone else, I want to gift it NOW.
So, I look at how far I am from the finish line, and am constantly comparing where I am to that finish line. And since I am not finished, it’s disappointing. So, if I feel disappointed when I pick up my current project, then… well, that’s not a good feeling. That’s not happy chill or delight.
But I also don’t want to turn my feelings into a finish line, ie. “Ugh, I am failing at my hobbies because they make me all stressed instead of relaxed. What is wrong with me.”
Instead, I just want to notice. No judgement, just observation.
And today, I notice that I have started two sweaters that I have been thinking about for months. Did I need a while to let the ideas build and internal coalition? So that when the free time came 51% of me voted to start the sweater. Or maybe its that I have finished some other big projects, so new mental space has opened up. Or maybe it’s some other constellation of factors that have come together to make this happen after months of blocking it.
I don’t know. But I do like the idea that it’s the seasonal shift - I know these sweaters are not necessary now, so I don’t need to think about how big these projects are - and one of them is a real doozy. Like, all-over fair isle. I really can’t fathom how I will knit something so intricate and epic. But it’s 70 degrees out right now, and I really don’t need to think about sweaters. So, I’ll let my hands work and keep my mind from peering way down there at the finish line.
PS. I wrote this last week, and now I am actually posting it when it’s 50 F and windy! goodness. I think we’ll have to light the wood stove again today, and maybe have some soup. But it still feels spring-like, and I slowly plugging away at my sweaters.