In which we are bored...
And start folding paper.
For the past week, I have been feeling uninspired. My brain was on standby and my body was full of rocks. All day I would try to get through my tasks, and it was boring, frustrating and endless. And, of course, I don’t have to love my work everyday, but the think was that even my play felt uninspiring. I didn’t want to do ANYTHING, even in my free time. I didn’t like any of the books I was listening to, any of the videos I tried. My projects were feeling about as engaging as a fidget toy. And I could devote about as much focus to them as well.
Nothing was appealing. I wasn’t miserable or joyless, but just didn’t feel connected.
So, I waited for a hint. A tiny whisper of something that I did want to listen to, and follow. And some time just letting it be - which mostly involves me reminding myself that just because I don’t care this week, doesn’t me I will never care again. Which sounds silly written here, but very comforting in the moment.
And on Monday night, I was curious about bookbinding. And I watched a video about it. And it was interesting. Also, it didn’t feel impossible. It actually felt more possible than ever because a friend had passed on a box of bookbinding supplies that she found while clearing out her mother’s house. I actually have waxed thread and an awl!
And Tuesday morning I was still curious about bookbinding, and before the day began, I found the box of bookbinding supplies, including some beautiful papers, and I touched my own ream of lovely writing paper. I put them both on my desk, and then went off for the day. At 4:30 that afternoon, when I had some free time, I returned to my desk, and there were my supplies. I was feeling worn out, and unfocused, but folding paper felt satisfying and matched my mental capacity. Even the stack of folded paper that was growing in front of me felt like a real victory after a long day. Tangible progress! I’ll take it.
Thirty minutes later I was sewing signatures together and watching another tutorial and getting really excited about the book I was making. Honestly, I was having to reel my brain back in a little because I was leaping pretty far ahead of myself - I could make all my journals! Books with 400 pages! A market booth full of books!
Let’s finish ONE book, alright? I can plan the next book, but not a bookmaking empire. These are the bargains I make with myself.
And I returned to my desk after the kids went to bed, so by the time I went to sleep I had a simple coverless book, bound and ready to go. And the makings of a second book, partially bound.
Now I have two books, but the second is going to get a cover tonight. And that is going to require that I excavate my large cutting mat, but so be it. I am so excited about this project that I am even willing to clean.
So this isn’t a story of how I began my career as a bookbinder, it’s the story of how I got out of a slump and got excited about something. Which will likely help me get excited about the next thing. I am already hearing the call of some projects that have gotten stagnant, so when the book binding rush slows, I cab shift that momentum to a work-in-progress.
Moment of pride: improvising book presses with other books didn’t work so well - the books bent around my book, pressing the edges but not the middle. So I found a flower press that we picked up second hand last summer, and voila! Book press! At least for this smaller book.
Less helpful: I have spent a silly amount of time today researching 11 x 17 inch papers that I can use for book binding: specifically paper that very smooth for writing. Because now I know about the paper grain rules, I also know that I really prefer lined paper (ahem, 5 mm spacing, please). What can I say, I am an avid journaler and I fill a 200 page book in about 3 months. So I have time to think about paper.
Next time, we can talk about pens. You know, I knew a guy who had a tiny lathe and he made pen cases… hmm… that’s kind of fascinating…
I mostly followed these tutorials from Peg and Awl and Sea Lemons and Rajiv Surendra. I was also very inspired by my friend Jaccicoo who showed me all her gorgeous books last week, and it seems the bookmaking is contagious. You’re welcome.
And thank you to Lisa and Dina who passed on the bookmaking tools!