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While knitting, I have always struggled with keeping count of the row increases and I just blamed myself and said “I’m bad at counting.” And I felt bad about myself and my brain and how I just can’t keep track of those numbers. I can’t even remember how often I am supposed to do row increases, even if I could keep track of how many rows its been since I last increased. FYI: the sleeve that I am working on has me increase 2 stitches every 5th row. I am pretty sure. I’ll check before I hit publish.

And part of me knew that if I could just mark the increase rows, then I could easily see how many rows I have knit since the last increase. And yet I don’t do it.
I know this is all a lot of knitting talk, but here is the crux of it: I blamed myself for having a “bad memory,” and struggled with it, when there is a simple and potentially free way to get around this problem. So, why was I so reluctant to use the easy solution?
I thought I should just BE better. I needed focus, grit, fortitude, attention spans - all the things. Using a stitch marker felt like taking the easy way out. Which is silly, because I use them ALL THE TIME on other projects. I am just using them to pick on myself.
It’s like how I just realized that I do better when I set timers on my phone. I don’t have to spend the next three hours distracted because I need to keep an eye on the clock for an appointment, I just set an alarm on my phone, or use the calendar apps on my phone. Why do I resist the solutions, with just a vague sense of “I can’t give in so easily. I’ll just try harder.” I only started using this solution last year, even though I have had a smartphone for 10 years.
It’s something that replays in so many big or small ways, but here is the way it has played out this week: I am flying through my knitting now that I bought a $6 set of stitch markers. I attach a locking stitch marker each time increase and now I am 3/4 of the way done with my 1st sleeve. This is the 4th attempt of this sleeve - the first attempt with the stitch markers. The FOURTH attempt at a monumental challenge - so why exactly did I feel like I need to prove my fortitude? Seems like I can’t see the sweater for the stitches.

The sweater: This is the Oa from Kate Davies Designs, knit in MY YARN! Rocket Sheep Woolens Sport in Oatmeal and Cocoa. I have also dyed a burgundy (I over-dyed the oatmeal yarn) which I will use as the accent color on the cuffs and hood. I plan to make this a cardigan, following a few examples I found on Ravelry. The plan is to add a steek down the center of the sweater, so it aligns with the hood steek. And, if it’s all going really well, maybe I could also add some pockets? I know, it’s a lot. But it’s fun to dream (and make a sweater I would reach for all the time).